This is Why We Must Redefine Trauma

The care that you didn’t receive in childhood can be experienced as traumatic too.

In childhood, you depend wholly on your caregivers to meet all of your physical and emotional needs.

Growing up with caregivers who are emotionally immature, neglectful, or unresponsive creates distress.

The times that you felt helpless, hopeless, and alone in getting your needs met can have far reaching ripple effects.

You may have learned that people are unreliable and cannot be trusted to show up for you.

As an result, in adulthood, you may hide your feelings, be overly self-reliant, or avoid emotional connection because it feels unsafe.

Could It Be Performance Anxiety?

Performance anxiety can present itself as the fear of public speaking or stage fright, but more often, it shows up in our daily lives at work or school.

Do these potential signs seem familiar? Contact me below to learn more about how EMDR therapy can help in addressing your performance anxiety today.

Performance Anxiety Nidhi Tewari, LCSW, LLC..jpg

Anxiety or Normal Worrying?

Anxiety or Normal Worrying?

You know the feeling, the butterflies in your stomach and the fluttering in your chest.  You feel it when you’re presenting in front of the class or sharing your good idea with your boss.  It feels like your heart is going to beat out of your chest and all the “what ifs?” swirl around in your mind.  What if I mess up or fail?  What if my boss thinks my idea is stupid? What if the people in my class laugh at me?  You might wonder, is this anxiety?  Or is this just a normal worry?

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Trauma Isn't Just Combat and War...Understanding How Trauma May Be Affecting You

Trauma sounds like a scary word reserved for the worst of the worst situations. We hear it and instantly think that you had to have survived war or had to have endured being tortured by someone. We picture the people impacted by Hurricane Katrina years ago, many of whom lost everything they ever owned or knew. And while, yes, these are examples of some of the most intense, complex traumas, trauma can be other disturbing experiences that impact your sense of control, and shift your perception of the world, yourself, and others.

“Little T” traumas, as we therapists like to call them, include disturbing events such as infidelity, financial challenges, divorce, or conflict with others. They are the events in our lives that make us question what we have known and thought before, shaking us to our core. These “little T” traumas can impact you in a similar way to the “Big T” traumas, like war, abuse, and natural disasters, especially if a bunch of “little T” traumas occur in a short span of time. We tend to brush off the “little T” traumas and feel that we may be overreacting when we feel stuck or when we experience anxiety or distress after the incident, but acknowledging and working through these experiences can help you to regain a sense of normalcy and control.

So why do you feel so out of sorts after a traumatic experience? And how does trauma impact your mind and body?

Research shows that after a person goes through a traumatic experience, a series of changes occur in the mind and body. The brain floods with a stress hormone called cortisol, which creates the feeling of always being in danger, and constantly puts our bodies into “fight, flight, freeze” mode. And of course if your body feels like it is perpetually in danger, then it becomes hard to concentrate, it becomes more difficult to make decisions, it feels more challenging to cope with emotions, and it can always feel as though you are on edge. You may find yourself more feeling more irritable and angry towards others, and you can thank your brain for trying to do its best to cope with your past traumas.

If you are reading this and feel like this is talking about you, don’t try to minimize what you are feeling. All of those confusing feelings and sensations are real. Seek out help sooner rather than later, and process through your experiences. EMDR and other therapeutic approaches can be effective in reducing the impact of “Big T” and “Little T” traumas, and can aid you in regaining a sense of control over your mind, body, and soul.

To start dealing with your trauma, call (804) 203-0424 for your free 15 minute consultation.